paganism · sidhehound · writing

Story time: Journey to the Great Phoenix

Drawn from a journey undertaken on 11/05/2020

I donned the cloak and antlers of Earth Deer Spirit. Alongside the Blackshuck, I began my journey. 

It was dusk. The pinks bled into purples, then magentas. Pinpoints of light marking the constellations began to appear, and with them the luminous colours of the Starbirds. We were invited to traverse the skies with them. 

Up we went, my edges merging with the night sky. The Milky Way sparkled below us, showing the Starbirds the way. The pale lights and sweet scents of the Upper World drew us in, where the Great Phoenix was burning bright in the topmost branches of the World Tree. 

I had to move through the crowd gathered around Phoenix, being careful not to bump into children who were running around in delight. Falling from the azure sky were Her feathers, and the children were making a game of gathering as many feathers as possible. A feather danced into my hand. 

I was called forward by Phoenix to hear her message. 

I am a creature of all three realms. I am born in the Lower World; my nest of ashes is safe amongst the roots of the World Tree. I die in the Upper World; my burning a spectacle in the crown of the World Tree. My body rises, and my ashes fall, through the Middle World; my forms spiraling around the trunk of the World Tree. 

My cycle is ending. My body has almost burnt up. My ashes are falling through your world, gathering ready for my rebirth. 

It takes time for the dust to settle. 


Good Enough

A dog toy shaped like a sheep. It's face has been chewed off.

The idea of not being good enough was planted in my head a long time ago by people who didn’t know any better: who had ridiculous standards, and values that were completely out of alignment with mine. The bar they set for me was too high, and set up in completely the wrong direction. I never had a chance of reaching it.

I am far from perfect, and I have much to improve, but I am a good person by my standards. I do what I can to make the world a better place, I do my best to be kind, I contribute to my community, and I work hard on my recovery.

I can always be better, but I am good enough.

From my work with the Write To Recovery programme.